Day 19: I am patient.
I’m really not, but I am better than I used to be. I found that being patient is so important, not having patience doesn’t just have an effect on your mental it affects your physical being as well.
I used to be so anxious. I would apply for a job and I would be checking my email every few minutes for an update, or I would go on an interview and I would start worrying about whether or not I got the job before I got to the parking lot.
Before I made this very drastic change of worrying less and praying more I was the type of person who wanted everything to happen right then and there, I couldn’t wait. This had a big effect on both my mental and my physical being. I would have constant headaches, I wouldn’t sleep, or I would forget a lot of important things because I was so focused on this one thing.
After so many denials and after so many times of feeling let down because things didn’t go my way I had finally had enough of the anxious feeling and the impatience.
Getting through these feelings was hard, I had to train my mind to think differently and to react differently. I created a nice picture with the Serenity Prayer on it and I posted it everywhere; in my office, on my mirror, and in the center console of my car. I even had it as a screensaver on my phone, I literally took that prayer everywhere. It helped me focus more on the things I could control.
Today I am still impatient at times but it doesn’t hinder me like it used to because I now know how to deal with it better. I also realized that I had to put more faith in God, I know in due time I will have all that my heart desire, I just have to be patient. It’s hard, I know, but you will get so much further if you remain patient with your circumstance, patient with your choices, and know that what is for you is for you and no one can stop it.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. -Philippians 4:6-